06 September 2006

MST3K (315)

315 - Teenage Cave Man (w/ Aquatic Wizards + Catching Trouble) - Like the last episode, everything was keen except for the actual movie. Luckily, there were two entertaining shorts to eat up some time before the painfully tedious Teenage Cave Man arrived. The script was incredibly self-important, packed to the gills with speeches and lengthy epilogue-expositions. The writing was far out of sync with what Corman was actually filming. Given that, I'm not surprised the equally self-important M. Night ripped off a bunch of its concepts for the equally lame The Village.

Hey, the alligator with the fin glued to his back from Robot Monster is back! He's still wrestling that poor lizard. Why can't they make up and play nice? Dr. F and Frank managed it.

"Bear cubs can't mess you up much…" "Mess you up"? Is that really a professional film narrator phrase? I think the screams of those poor bear cubs will haunt me off to sleep tonight. I'm with Joel: Catching Trouble makes me "deeply ashamed of my race right now." Man, I am glad it's not the 1950s anymore. As many troubles as there are in the world right now, it's always nice to see that we've progressed.

I'm a fan of the rainy day theme running through JatB's host segments. It's more of that comfortable, down-home charm that makes MST3K what it is.

Rainy Day Epicacs (sic)

  • chocolate milk + pickle juice
    I'd give this a day in court. A little sweet, a little salty, some milk fat mixed with brine… it has potential.

  • circus peanuts + warm strawberry Quik + a punch in the stomach
    Foregoing the assault, I've got to try this. I wouldn't be surprised if the Japanese already have this in vending machines.

  • Lucky Charms + cherry NyQuil
    A great idea for the next time I come down with a cold. Thanks, Joel!

  • blue cheese with a steak garnish
    Blah! Puke! Few things are worse than moldy cheese. Gag!

  • Snickers bar + honey mustard nougat
    I like Snickers. I like honey mustard. I don't see a problem.
"I'm gonna cut yah, man." The epic, multi-host-segment-spanning Dr. Forrester-Frank battle of '91 was awesome. It almost smacks of "we can't think of an invention exchange or anything else to do with the Mads this week," but I don't care. It's plain funny.

Factoids about this week's letter: it looks like the stuntman who wrote it was Bruce Paul Barbour, who's been in tons of cool movies. If you pause on the Still Store shot of the letter, you can see in the far-right lower corner that he recommends the guys check out Eegah. Good pick, Bruce! Wonder if they gave him a finder's fee?

"I hope they emptied that bear first." (7/10)

film d. Roger Corman (1958)
short 1 p. Rod Warren (1955)
short 2 d. ?? (1950)
mst d. Jim Mallon (9 Nov 1991)