MST3K (703)

703 - Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell - "I wish I was the kind of man who could kill a woman." Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Though there isn't any magical hang glider building, the magic of editing does have the similar effect of making Deathstalker nigh-invincible in this film. The editor's help may explain Relson's personality. The man is more arrogant and grating than Ator and Cabot combined. I was rooting for the sassily dressed, shiny-headed bad guy to win for the entire movie.

Such a character in such a low-budget flick does make for some good riffing. It wasn't quite on Outlaw's level, but it was damned funny anyway. The crew's post-movie energy continues. Season 7's looking good. "I just heard an eagle meow."

The random "Would You Like to Super-Size It?" host segment was a surprising treat. In the middle of the being annoyed by his mother, Dr. F calls the SOL. For no apparent reason at all, the crew of the SOL decides to pretend that they're teenagers staffing a fast food restaurant. Dr. F's flabbergasted frustration as the SOL crew insists on sticking to this concept is very funny.

This is the infamous episode in which Pearl cries "Clayton! Clayton!" over and over again. I was expecting the worst, given what other fans say about it. I really didn't have a problem with it, though. Sure, it's not Dr. F killing TV's Frank yet again, but there was some funny in there. I think Mary Jo and Trace salvage what could've been some incredibly tedious segments with their spot-on acting. Mary Jo does this thing where she sort of widens her eyes when shouting "Clayton!" that somehow makes it work. Plus, these segments give us the immortal line: "There was a small, golden man reading to me from a dirty book."

"That's one of the most clearly printed Rs I've ever seen." (8/10)

film d. Alfonso Corona (1988)
mst d. Trace Beaulieu (17 Feb 1996)

[Strangely, this is the 703rd movie I've watched since I began keeping track at the end of 2003.]